Overcompensating Due to Fear

"Fear causes us to over or under compensate in our life"

I wrote an article not long ago on depression where I stated that life depression is the result of events in life that are not going the way we perceive it should be or would like them to go. I put forward the idea that depression and performance were tied together. Symptoms of depression such as isolating, withdrawing, sadness over what is perceived and anger toward self bond together and become the person’s closest friend. So when in a state of depression the emotional instinct is to “shut down” or “stop doing” due to the fear that one’s weaknesses will be seen or “wrong”.

The other night I happen to turn to the Charlie Rose Show and caught an interview with Dave Pelz. Dave Pelz is a one of golf’s most respected instructors. He has coached 10 of the top golf professionals who have earned a combined 20 titles. As a coach, Dave was instrumental in helping Phil Mickelson improve his short game therefore working through his fear, Phil went on to win the 2010 coveted Masters Championship.

Mr. Pelz increased his ability to become a more successful golfing coach from extensive research on fear. He discover though a survey he conducted that when a professional golfer, no matter how good their game is, gets within a 100 feet they question or doubt their ability to execute. He found out that a golfer at that point perceives weakness and weakness breeds fear. Everyone has weaknesses and perceived weakness develops into fear. When the golfer experiences fear in their mind’s eye, heart and body, the golfer has a normal response of “flight or fight”. The golfer’s blood pressure and respiration increases, his or her hands will start to sweat and thoughts begin to race. This physical reaction will then cause muscles to tighten, and vision distort. The golfer’s skill decreases and end result is over shooting or under shooting their shot, for fear of the embarrassment of missing the shot.

What can I learn from Golfers?

I conveyed this story as an example that when anyone who is faced with performing in life situations, the same process occurs. Everyone has submerged beliefs of weaknesses formed from childhood events. So in current life situations when stressed or pressured to perform these root beliefs surface from our subconscious mind without our knowledge. We all think that if we do not perform well enough then we will be embarrassed and be perceived as less in others eyes. These root beliefs then drive us to respond in ways we would not react if we were performing from a stance of confidence. Confidence and higher levels of performance stem from acquisition of more skills and consistent practice.

So what can you learn from this? Do not attempt to do it alone. Professional athletes and successful business people know that they cannot overcome their weaknesses alone. They seek out a good coach to teach them new skills in order to reach a higher level of performance. The same should be true for everyone.

A good coach offers an experience and a third eye. As players cannot see themselves performing, nor can we. A good coach helps discover the root belief or barrier that is holding you back, identify the weakness, and design an effective action plan as well as teach the new skill. Once in the process of practicing, the coach will evaluate, offer suggestions and support you to the point of mastering the skill. Once the skill is acquired the root belief of “doing wrong” or “not being good enough” will shift and the incidences of fear will significantly reduce while the performance will increase.

So if you want to perform better in your life, seek out a Life Coach to untangle the barriers that are stopping you from success.