Are the Words I Speak Holding Me Back?

- Dr Bill

The words that we utter determine how we view ourselves and how we compare ourselves to others. The words that we speak don't get the recognition for the huge part that they play in the formation of who we are as human beings. Words strongly influence our perception which in turn determines our thoughts, behavior and how we emotionally react or do not react to every life event. In fact, we are what we speak. Not enough credence is given to the power of our spoken words and their major function in the formation of the human identity.

We need to be very mindful of the content of our words about ourselves. I have learned that “the words that come out of our mouths go directly into our ears unfiltered”. So when the brain registers the words that are spoken, the brain responds with “if that is how you want it then it will be so”. Understand that the human brain is a non-judgmental and non-emotional organ, and believes what we say about ourselves, is the truth. So speaking negative words about us, like “Oh I am stupid, ugly, no good or worthless” often, even though not intended to be true (“I was just kidding” or “I did not really mean it”), will become part of our “true” identity.

We need to take stock in the words we utter about ourselves, because they may come back to haunt us, even if we were just kidding or attempting not to be conceited. The words that we use to describe ourselves could deform or distort our identity for years to come. Be ever vigilant. Focusing on the unflattering words that come out of our mouths and consciously changing them can transform our identity.

1. Write down all the negative words that you utter about you in a four day period. Note the emotional context of the situation in which you spoke the words (Example: I felt embarrassed, I did not want the person I was talking with to feel less than, I did not want to appear self centered, I did not like me then).

2. Once your list is completed then make a second column and write a positive self descriptive word next to each negative word. The second column will be known as your (Positive Self Word List).

3. Then integrate those words into your daily language. Initially it will take a focused conscious effort to “catch the negative descriptive words” and then replace them in your speech, but the effort and the consistency will transform your identity.